alone all day at school, all night at home. m's been away eight days & im too proud to call friends or accept my roommate's invitations you can watch that out here instead of on my tiny t.v. in bed. this afternoon i got irrationally angry at the goth girl sitting next to me on the bus who kept telling her father how wonderful everything, everything is. then i got irrationally angry at s. whenever i arrive at her apartment, im surprised to find five, ten other people present; i rather be alone than discuss politics with her backwaters republicans. to calm myself after the ride, i made a sandwich with an unreasonable amount of cheese & watched sex & the city.

in other news, i waste a lot of time trying to sleep.

i quit my job at target because i cried. at ten am, my manager calls to discuss the incident. the incident: i made a mistake, three to be exact the entire extent of my employment. for starters, yr hair is often dirty, you infuriate the other employees by reading constantly; plus, as far as i’m concerned, you hardly live up to yr personal potential which bothers us all. us all is never specified. i begin to cry, mumble yeah an unidentifiable amount of times. yeah is all you have to say? i ask to be let go, fired even. the shame of facing her or any other disgruntled staff looms over my next shift. the shame intensified by crying. & when she says im willing to give you another shot if yr willing to step it up i sob okay then hang up. twenty minutes later i call the studio sorry pam i dont think ill ever improve. tomorrow, i return my nametag & keys.