school finished itself off with a gpa not entirely depleted but going mad from lusting an up. & winter break? xmas proved boring at my parents house, on the couch, five hour’s watching mtv’s next with my sister & her boyfriend. mom dad in the back bedroom wrapping/unwrapping gifts for the relatives.

(also: avoidance at friday's party. a girl name shannon tugging my hair come sit. i attempt to escape via alan; i grab his shoulder: im really not prepared. but still. on the sofa: shannon as a mouth, a girl it started at age four. & there liz sits, wondering why, please god, couldn't it have started at eighteen: the crux of her emotional distress. her emotional unrest resulting in overdose, AA meetings twice a week. i think: where the hell is her girlfriend? outside smoking, safe from shannon’s im so socially awkward. if this were highschool. i just have so many feelings.i am already gone. i climb the seven flights to the top of the parking deck where stephanie & shannon's girlfriend are sprawled out giggling on the concrete.